Vacationer of the Week: David Perry

This week we caught up with freelance content creator David Perry. The 49-year-old New Yorker was born in Japan, spent his formative years in Virginia and Iran, and most of his school years in Kennett Square, a suburb of Philadelphia. 

Perry has traveled to 26 countries, and in this candid Q&A, he opens up about his travels to Muslim-majority countries, reveals his favorite places to visit, why enjoys traveling solo, and what item he never forgets to pack before traveling.

Vacationer Magazine: At what age did you receive your first passport? What was your first trip?

David Perry: This is an unexpectedly complicated question because I was an American civilian born overseas. I got my passport right away at one month old, and my mom still has it! And right away, I set the travel bar high. My first trip abroad was to Hawai’i. Ironically, the United States is the country in which I am a citizen but never set foot in the country until I was two.

What inspires you to travel?

I want to be amazed, enchanted, or simply charmed! Give me something I haven’t had, seen, or tasted before. 

Please tell us how you identify yourself on the LGBTQIA spectrum. Does it influence the way you travel? 

I’m gay, and it absolutely impacts how I travel because my favorite place to visit is the Ummah, that is, the Muslim World. The “travel closet” is a thing and shows up in more places than you think. As a New Yorker, I live in a place that is the glaring exception when it comes to LGBTQ rights, visibility, and legal protections. When I went to Morocco and Abu Dhabi, I seriously dress down and look like just one more tourist. My shirts are dark solid colors and without patterns, my jeans are loose. Nothing fabulous or particularly clingy (which is tough when you have a strength-trainer’s body). I dress to blend in to the point of boring.

And I certainly do not hook up. Yes, there have been opportunities, but it’s not worth the risk. I can get sex in America. Boning the natives is always a crapshoot, and the morals police in Muslim countries actively monitor dating apps and social media to find LGBTQs. Before I touch down in the Ummah, I have already taken out all gay references on my Instagram, Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, and Vero accounts, and removed links to my blog. 

However, when I was in Bangkok, I was a total ho. Even brought my kilt. That broke the ice really fast. 

What do you like the most about solo travel?

So there I was with three other people in Old City Jerusalem, one of the most historic sites on the planet, and we couldn’t do anything or go anywhere because it was a constant high-maintenance mire of “What do you want to do? I don’t know, what do you want to do? Do you want to do this? No, but I will do whatever you want to do.”

I finally struck out on my own because as a group, we were bogged down trying to reach a consensus. When I am by myself, I can go at my own pace, and there are no arguments. I can do some bromantic things — but not necessarily touristy ones — like getting a couple of bottles of wine and watching the sunset (did that in Croatia and Ireland…that last one with whiskey). It also gives me the opportunity to do some really strenuous things, like surfing sand-dunes like in Abu Dhabi, which almost always means bumps and bruises that, understandably, aren’t on everyone’s vacation to-do list. And I can do it all on the fly.

If you have to travel with someone, what would be the ideal travel companion for you?

I haven’t a clue. When I travel with a group, I am the first one to go off on my own. If I really have to travel with someone, it’s gotta be someone who genuinely likes feeding their brain. Someone who is a traveler, rather than a tourist.

Is there a travel destination that most queer travelers would think isn’t safe to visit, but you’ve visited and enjoyed it? If so, where? What made it a memorable experience?

I was in Cabestan, possibly the hottest club in Casablanca in very Muslim Morocco. FYI, the city is very modern, and the club was booming out music you would hear in Amsterdam. This was one of those rare instances where I was with someone, an attractive woman about 20 years younger than me. And I kind of took a bodyguard role around her when we were in crowds in Morocco, and I did so then. Anyway, while we were at the club’s bar, I noticed two guys checking me out. This wasn’t a surprise, “we are everywhere” and all. But then I noticed some more guys checking me out. And some more. And some more. I was Mr. Popular, and this was Casablanca! There are no gay clubs. I was stunned and so was the girl who I thought was supposed to be the center of attention.

But that was the lesson of traveling in the Ummah, the world outside the closet can be measured in nanometers, but the world inside it by lightyears. I still played it chaste that night, but it shows that you can have a gay ol’ time in the Ummah, or at least in Casablanca, provided you are in the right place (a modern, Western-style club) and have the right skills (accurate gaydar). But I would still recommend keeping it in your pants, regardless. 

What’s the best tip you’d offer travelers?

Every place is a destination to some other places, so don’t be a travel snob. Yes, Bangkok and Waikiki are astounding, but one of the best trips I ever had was to — Cleveland — huh? I was on assignment ahead of the 2014 Gay Games, and I could not believe I said yes to going to Cleveland aka “the Mistake on The Lake.” And I had my snobbery handed to me; frankly, I had it coming. It’s a great town! Open, airy, great food, rich culture, and a fabulous LGBTQ+ scene. That taught me the value of keeping an open mind about places that may not always be on the top of a list at Travel & Leisure. Cleveland is not Paris, but it’s not trying to be, either. These second-tier places are also a good option if you’re on a budget.

What are your top 3 favorite places to visit?

Western Wales 
Celts are not good at making huge cities, but OMFG are they the bomb-dot-com with a tiny village nestled in a primordial landscape of rolling hills! Throw in castle ruins on a misty mountain (Wales has a ton of both) and hot damn – you’re in the Lord of the Rings! I’ve always been an “arctophile.” I love the old things and the old places, and the hinterlands of Wales have “ancient” coming out of its ears. Langhorne and Tregaron are particularly picturesque.

Fes, Morocco 
Fes is the old capital of Morocco, and the old city center is straight out of “1001 Arabian Nights.” The souks are loud, crowded, and frenetic. It is controlled chaos personified. At the same time, it was very polite — in Jerusalem, people all but yank you off the street into their stores; the people of Fes were much nicer. I recommend the Chouara Tannery. The products that come out of that tannery blew my mind. The leather felt like silk.

Śibenik, Croatia
Śibenik is a “Land Before Tourists” on the Dalmatian coast of Croatia. So many visitors go to either Dubrovnik or Split that the rest of the region is practically devoid of internationalization. The pace is slower than Dubrovnik, but that was a plus for me… no schedules and no to-do lists. Just walk around and just about every street is an Instagram moment waiting to go viral. There’s a mind-blowing restaurant there called Tinel. Order the figs soaked in red wine. 

What three places are still on your bucket list to visit?

First up, I would love to do the old Silk Road. I mean, the whole damn thing, from Xi’an in China, through Central Asia, to Damascus. Of course, that means going through Iran, Iraq, and Syria, and I am not one to ignore political realities. Second, would be literally anywhere in South America since I have yet to visit. And as paradoxical as it sounds to my first choice, I’d like to go back to Iran, a country I saw with the eyes of a 6-year-old. I had no idea what Islam was, or an ayatollah, or why all the women were dressed in “bedsheets” (I didn’t know what a chador was, either). I wonder what young-boy me has to say to old-man me. Probably a lot of expletives. 

What’s one thing you never forget to pack in your suitcase?

My camera. I take that thing everywhere. It is non-negotiable. It’s the first thing to go in my suitcase, and I pack my clothes around it. If that means going commando and wearing the same pair of socks for a week… I’ll deal. 

What travel trend or travel industry change would you be excited to see happen?

Gay or straight, travel is getting increasingly shunted into a luxury vein. Mid- to low-budget destinations and properties get neither good PR nor respect, but there are people out there, probably a lot of them, who want to travel but can’t afford the 5-star resorts that are sprouting up like weeds on crack, pushing the cheaper accommodations and establishments out of town. A generic gin and tonic should not cost you $15. 

Travel has always been pricey, but it’s becoming cost-prohibitive. I would like to see low-income travel become a thing. Cumulatively speaking, destinations would probably make more money with that in the long term.